On the Marrakech Express

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Marrakech, Morocco
Friday, May 1, 2015

It's May 1, and I'm about to land in Morocco.

Morocco: Berber communities overtaken by Arab conquerors overtaken by European colonists. Crowded souks and open desert. Couscous with apricot tagines. Magnificent mosques to honour Moslem holy men and crumbling hilltop shrines to Jewish holy men. Streets of women moving with beauty and with invisibility. Hands beating silver to fashion jewelry and hands crushing rose petals to make extract. And in the background of my mind - Crosby, Stills and Nash in a song that will play in your mind if you just let it.

It's May 1, and I'm about to land in Morocco.

But there is a background story to my being here. One that I must share.
In the final weeks before her death, Ruth twice asked me to promise to do something after she was gone. One was to do her grandparenting shifts - to be the babysitter for the grandchildren on the way that she would not live to meet. The other was to go to Morocco.

Morocco was the great Trip Not Taken in our lives. We were all planned to go there years ago, but that year Bush Sr. launched a bombing of Iraq, and Ruth felt this was not the time for a couple of North American Jews to be wandering in an Arab country. Instead we drove around rural Portugal and had a wonderful time - but Morocco was not forgotten. I recall one day in 2011 when Ruth came home, tossed a newly purchased copy of Lonely Planet to Morocco at me, and said, "It's still on the agenda. Start planning!" Winter of 2012 was already earmarked for a month in Colombia, so Morocco got booked into our plans for May of 2013.

<i>Men tracht und Gott lacht.</i>

January of 2012 did find us in Colombia. But July of 2012 found us in chemo. And August found us in conversations about a future we both knew only one of us would see. She urged me to live fully, and perhaps with a special person if I were lucky enough to find one. She asked me to promise to do her shifts - and I promised. And she asked me to promise to go to Morocco - but I wouldn't promise that one.
Why not? Well, it's a big world out there, and maybe I would go to someplace that was not on our plan - Ireland, Khazakstan, Antarctica perhaps - rather than some place I'd be looking for her.  And secondly, perfect travel takes a perfect travel companion - and what was the likelihood of finding someone like that?

It's May 1, and I'm about to land in Morocco.

A digression of thought: one that Canadians reading this blog may understand better than non-Canadians: In this country we remember and honor Terry Fox, a man with cancer and only one leg, who did NOT run across Canada. But we don't give credit to Steven Fonyo, the man with cancer and one leg, who DID run across this country.
There is a tendency to mythologize the tragic figures of our past, and to ignore the living successes. Ruth is not here. But Avril is. And I'm pleased and excited to be traveling with her.

Avril is a wonderful travel companion (and, as the past months have shown, a wonderful companion even when we're not traveling). Energetic, adventuresome, curious, fun. It's a rare and lucky thing to find a fellow traveller who shares your idiosyncratic balances of how much time to walk around cities vs how much time to sit in cafes, how much time in churches (or mosques) and museums vs how much time in dirty markets, how many times eating or sleeping at bargain rates vs how many times to self-indulge, how much time learning history vs how much time attending circuses, how much time reveling in the company of others vs how much time reveling just in the company of each other.

We have read the maps together, created our own itinerary, divided the tasks of booking the flights, the hotels, the trekking company, got our shots and done our shopping. We have fantasized and we have actualized. This is our trip. Not Ruth's. Accept that.
We spent two weeks in France last summer and it was the joy and ease of that travel that confirmed we ought to do Morocco together. For Morocco is not just my fantasy - it has sat there prominently on Avril's "A List" for years as she wondered if the right companion would ever appear. And now he has.

It's May 1, and Avril and I are about to land in Morocco.

Morocco: windswept crumbling kasbas and restored palaces of imperial splendor. Sunrises stirring the mists of Atlas mountain valleys and sunsets setting the desert dunes aflame. One city to this day all painted in blue because medieval Jews wanted to distinguish it from Moslem green. Fire-eaters in the streets of Marrakech, the world's musicians gathered in the streets of Fes and in between endless cups of tea with craftsmen and carpet salesmen. Fabrics, fragrances and flavours. All this, and more, is to be looked forward to. It's not a time for looking back. So this is the only blog posting that will mention Ruth - her name will not even appear in my writings of the next month - there will be too much else. But, I cannot help it today.

It's May 1, and we're about to land in Morocco.

It's also Ruth and my wedding anniversary.
42 years ago today we said Yes to each other's requests.
And today I say Yes to a request made much later.
Don't you know she's riding on the Marrakech Express.

Comments

It is a wonderful thing to be travelling with such an open heart (such open hearts) and with a benediction such as Ruth's. O Happy Day, this first of May! Love, S. From Sylvia, on May 1, 2015 at 12:26PM
Thank you for writing this reflection of love, complex promises and a passion for words, adventures and openess. Hugs to both of you,
Mary From Mary adlersberg, on May 1, 2015 at 03:22PM
Have a great trip with 2 great women! From Leora, on May 1, 2015 at 04:24PM
Very few people are as blunt and frank and open and clear as you always are, dear Avi. Not sure I would have equated Avril with Steve Fonyo (at least the less seemly side of him) but your analogy is a powerful one, putting time and space and relationships in perspective.

Avi and Avril, may this be an adventure that satisfies all of the elements on your wish lists. And what a wonderful generosity of spirit you both show in bringing Ruth along for the ride. She would have loved to know that this is how the story unfolded. From Sally Thorne, on May 1, 2015 at 07:56PM
Dear Avi and Avril, enjoy!! From Maxine, on May 1, 2015 at 08:54PM
Thanks, Avi! What you share with us during travel are such wonderful reflections, whether one, two or three people are intimately involved in what you're saying, and the many others and their country as you pass through and move forward. From Miriam, on May 3, 2015 at 09:06PM
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